One more by J. M. Ford

[ricardienne]

Of course, I know Ford best through his wacky alternate history/fantasy/Wars of the Roses novel The Dragon Waiting, so I'm not surprised he also wrote wacky and awesome Wars of the Roses poetry:

Enter Mr Jno. Ford (the Elizabethan one) as King Edward the Fourth.

I am the King now, and I want a sandwich.
This monarch business makes a fellow hungry.
I wonder where my brother Richard is.

What happened to the kippers left from breakfast?
Or maybe there’s a bit of cold roast pheasant.
I am the King now, and I want a sandwich.

A civil war is such an awful bother.
We fought at Tewksbury and still ran out of mustard.
I wonder where my brother Richard is.

Speak not to me of pasta Marinara.
I know we laid in lots of boar last Tuesday.
I am the King now, and I want a sandwich.

The pantry seems entirely full of Woodvilles
And Clarence has drunk two-thirds of the cellar.
I wonder where my brother Richard is.

If I ran England like I run that kitchen
You’d half expect somebody to usurp it.
I am the King now, and I want a sandwich.
I wonder where my brother Richard is.

Comments

[existentialgoat.livejournal.com]

That is AMAZING.

"I am the King now, and I want a sandwich" is one of the best lines of poetry ever written.

[17catherines.livejournal.com]

Oh, I like this!

[the-alchemist.livejournal.com]

Why didn't I know about that? (Either the poem or the book?) It's great, and put the book on my wishlist.

(But is the first line of the last verse really "...like I run that kitchen"? "...like they run that kitchen" would be funnier.)

[ricardienne.livejournal.com]

Even, "If they ran England like they run that kitchen."

[awomanthatsblue.livejournal.com]

This has made my day!

OMG the pantry seems entirely full of Woodvilles. :) :) :)

[charlie-ego.livejournal.com]

I love, love, love The Dragon Waiting. And these poems, for that matter. I think I have all his novels, including the Star Trek ones :)

[achyvi.livejournal.com]

That is exceedingly silly.