you brought it on yourself miss twiddle

One of my theoretically favorite things is a ancient language lessons. I kind of like Greek-Latin colloquia a lot.

There are nice little scenes about getting up and ready for school:

Before it's light I woke up; I rose from bed, I sit, I took my socks and shoes; I put my shoes on. I ordered water for my face; I wash my hands first, then I washed my face. I dried myself; I left my bedroom; I took a tunic for my body; I belted myself. I annointed my head and I combed it, I put my cloak around my neck. I put on my white over-garment on top. I went out of the room with my tutor and my nurse to greet Father and Mother. I greeted them both and kissed them. And then I went from the house. Thence to school. I entered, I said "good morning, Teacher," and he kissed me and greet me in return. My clerical boy set up my tablets, my writing case, and my notes. I sat in my place, and wiped them clean.

(That last sentence? I emended the Latin myself before translating. loco meo sedeos deleo to loco meo sedens deleo (Or: loco meo sedi et deleo: I don't know which would be more plausible in terms of textual corrupting, but the former is a closer match to the Greek.) Then there's a cute(if slightly prissy) bit with a classmate (not entirely sure about the meaning: the words obviously have precise meanings which my dictionaries, not equipped for late antique colloquial usage, do not know, plus there are some clear corruptions again, but I think it's something like this):

I take notes on the lesson; when I have written, I show it to the teacher. He corrects; begins, orders me to read. So ordered, I give the lesson to another. I learn the explanation, I tell it back. But then a classmate started to present to me. "And you," he said, "now present to me." I said to him: "recite [for the teacher?] first," And he said to me: "Didn't you see, when I was reciting before you?" And I said: "you're lying: you didn't recite." "I'm not lying." "If you're telling the truth, I'll present." Meanwhile, on the teacher's order the little boys rise for their ABCs, and one of the older boys shows them syllables, others recite in order to a subordinate teacher, they write [= decline?] nouns, have written [=have done metrical analysis of?] verses, and I take dictation/the contest in the first rank. Then, when we have sat, I read over commentaries, languages, technique. Called to the lecture, I listen to descriptions, meanings, characteres. When questioned, I respond artfully. "Toward whom?" [the teacher] asks. "What part of speech?" I decline groups of nouns; I parse verses. When we've done this, [the teacher] dismisses us for lunch. Dismissed, I come home. I change, I take white bread, olives, cheese, figs, nuts. I drink cold water. When I've eaten, I go back again to school. I find the teacher reading, and he says, "begin from the beginning."

There also seem to be a number of scenes about buying and preparing food for a dinner party, culminating in this obsessive dialogue over his friend arriving late:

-What else do you want?
-Only this, boy: go to Gaius and say to him "come; we're already washing up." Go! Run! Do it quickly: not slowly but even faster! Were you with him?
-I was.
-Where was he?
-He was sitting at home.
-And what was he doing?
-Studying.
-And what did he say?
-"I'm waiting for my [friends, people]. When they come, I'll follow."
-Go back and tell him: "everyone is here." Come back with him. And you all, meanwhile, set out the glass and bronze carefully. Sweep the dining room and throw the water outside. I want to see you [working] like young men.
-We've swept now. Everything is ready.
-He hasn't come yet? Go, tell him: "you're making us eat late."
-Look: he's coming.
-Go meet him. He was coming after all. Ask him: "why are you standing outside?

And of course, the day ends with going to bed: I think this one makes more sense with the main speaker as an adult (i.e. the one giving the dinner party), but it's also more hilarious as the prissy schoolboy. (And why is there only one slave at the beginning but more than one at the end? Why is sleeping outside a privilege and inside a punishment?)

Come, boy, gather up these things; put everything in its place. Arrange the bed carefully.
-We've done it.
-And it's still this hard?
-We beat it out and softened the mattress.
-But since you did it lazily, and it had to be done, let no one spend the night outside [the room?], or be an idiot. If I hear a sound out of anyone, I won't spare him. Take heed, go to sleep, and wake me at cockcrow so I can go out.

...I've just spent two hours translating random bits of nothing.